The Wax Conspiracy

Aperçus of Death and Biscuits

Cradle to the grave in the 2016 national holiday road toll with 40 no more

Carry on a wayward trio, the top three states from the last outing are back at it again as the end of the Christmas and New Year holiday road toll ends with a forty and one as NSW triumphs once more unto the bleak.

Easter road toll 2016 turns out the lights at eight

Prices for coffins and makeshift cement pits are not exactly the only cause to mangle your body into a bundle of bones. But at least when you’re screaming high unto the sky in a blinding light you don’t think about how this Easter is a quieter one nationally. Eight at the end.

Entire nation screeches in-hand at 2015 holiday road toll, 35 for the lot

Liberty takes its freedom from the metallic jaws of life, wrenching guts and entrails from the side of the road to reveal that spirits are up as the bodies are high. We're 35 for the Christmas and New Year national holiday road toll and it's a bang up job to bang up a write-off with NSW at the headless.

Easter road toll 2015 basks in miserable and magical 22

Poetry in motion as the arms and torsos fly through the shattered glass air as Australia does proud to rack 22 for the Easter holiday road toll for 2015. Soundtrack to such a mess probably including one of those songs by Taylor Swift.

Germanwings 4U9525 and Malaysia Airlines MH370 stay a night at Wayside Inn

Meeting the cost of a Sandra Bullock movie, starring a Leary who constantly draws breath between his teeth, is sky high, but what you get when you have Germanwings close out the year of waiting for Malaysia Airlines to pay out.

Diplomacy between countries is all a game of threats

Elements of diplomacy include tact and promise. Driving that carrot on the donkey's back like it's a stick shift and cranking the bollocks so they squeeze out the most just relations possible.

Fast break in first week sets off 2014 national road toll, 28 at lunch

Lined up head to knee to neck to torso and what we have is another year on the road tolls. The holidays never stop making a mull of it. You can't rest until your lungs are crushed or ripped apart from a torn windshield. Them's the brakes. Screeching as we notch SA atop a country of 28.

Easter road toll 2014 rests a dozen ahead of ANZAC weekend

'smiles riding into the breach, the beach, the trees that never hug back. Easter brings another road toll, celebration on the nation's roads as the tally takes a team effort, but this year we're down and out but 19 off the course. Western Australia making fun use of that extra sun.

Hottest year and The Ashes deflates national road toll 2013 to 27

Year's end comes quietly for the 2013/2014 Christmas and New Year's holiday road toll as the nation watches Australia reclaim The Ashes from the Poms. As it happens, the bodies are out for six and that's New South Wales still keeping its head above the bloody waters. But only just in a pool of 27.

Easter road toll 2013 turns the clock up a quarter century

Shot through the car and more than maimed, you can see all the bodies in bags claimed. Up over down under and squeezing out joie de vivre from the passenger side, Easter once more promises all that Kinder Surprises cannot. Pieces and bits choking down brown shells to signpost a respectable 22 in the bank. A tip more than double last year's shifting sands of pleading hands with SA clasping all.

Off a cliff under 50 in the 2012 national holiday road toll

Sobriety never gets in the way of a healthy strewing of debris and police tape to chalk road fatalities across the Christmas and New Year's period. Two down from last session and it's a tidy cut of 48 bleeding out.

Easter road toll hobbles through a skinny night

Done with a case of caskets careening through the car crashes, the stats on the Easter 2012 period looms a shadow of its former self. We enter through the umbra and flip the soundtrack from John Lennon to Spın̈al Tap. And we're at 11. Barely half of a corpse clipped in half by a flying bonnet.

Schedule deaths in order to maximise and prolong the sympathy

Ambulances, as they race and jostle through the pedestrians, knocking them off the footpath, are always on a headlong collision toward society's tolerance and continuity in how long you can play an injury, death or other serious illness in the deck of sympathy cards. It's a dicey slice between taking their time and giving you yours in order to call around and rally the pity troops.
The Wax Conspiracy

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