The Wax Conspiracy

Fires fail to flameout festive holiday road toll

Life takes a toll on death, dying as the screams from inside the crumpling metal chassis wreck in careening pile-ups on the nation's highways and streets. Trumping the year before, this season's merry wave of 70 corpses bests that of the last by the sixteen wheels of a semi-trailer.

Clawing back from the smoking docks of second place, the eager state of New South Wales doubles over the previous and pockets pole-wrapping position as their stitching of 23 takes them to the top of the heap. A hearty start by ten in the early days securing their certificates with ease.

Victoria takes second place to switch with one more body of last year's tally. Sitting pretty with a knife made of shards ripping vainly at the seatbelts holding askew 17 dancing queens. Down a spot from the last goer.

Egged out, an even 12 sees Queensland rounding out the podium.

Close behind and just a pair in front of the car, Western Australia there at 10. Running joke this is not, the bushfires raging into the night doing nothing more than pushing people away from skidmarks on the hot bitumen.

Tasmania faces off against the devils to seat a comfortable family-sized car. Or a hatchback. Take your pick. The Apple Isle with 4.

South Australia rests their sweaty brows at 3. No help at all from their raging bush fires, with one early on at Port Lincoln trying to snatch away potential vehicular crash victims.

A quaternion chop leaves Northern Territory at a lone body rolling down the dusty highways of the upper part of the country.

The nation's capital, in the holding pattern of nothingness, grasps at an empty bouquet of telegraph flowers. Fatality free and down again at the bottom of the ladder.


According to the Department of Infrastructure and Transport report, the Christmas/New Year holiday period begins at 00:01 on the last Friday before December 25, and ends at 23:59 on the first Friday after December 31. The DIT lists 66 deaths during that period. AAP however, recalls 68.

Where are the missing dead bodies?

Ethan Switch

Written on Friday, 15 January 2010

The Wax Conspiracy



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