The Wax Conspiracy

Aperçus of Paranoid Times

Credit card breaches are favours to cash only establishments

Another day another data breach, and on goes through the wallet to swap out the credit cards while they wait on for replacements. Cash-only is the chaser, and the primary reason to keep up the breaches.

of a certain compromised timelessness

Sunset snaps on synapses via optic nerves nervous already about degenerated maculae. Light sloughs at the interior posterior dulling keen vision – keen in the British sense, mind: of enthusiasm, eagerness.

Easter road toll 2017 chokes out 10 with the bilby and bunny

Smearing across the brow, trickling down the side of the face, not melted chocolate, but the expanse of blood out from the skin underneath. Another Easter road toll, and this bell gongs for 10 to the nation and make their way off the course and into the sidelines forevermore.

The Overdraft Fee and the Underscore

Ready at the teller, the bank salivates at the thought of a stolen cache of debit card data. There one day, gone the next, funds from your bank account. Maybe $50. Maybe $100. But enough to draw you closer to the zero balance. And they wait.

Friends of the library sales are a second-hand racket

Again, before the due date arrives, the library shelves stock books no one will read and that will pass lonely, more under the dust, at the annual (but not annual enough) book sale. It is a purge more than anything, and the smell of fresh pages butting against the mould is only enough.

Protesting Santa Claus is clinging on to private matters

All Christmas is, the one with the Santa Claus dropping mysterious packages into homes and running off before coffee-stained guards have a chance to ask "Whose bag is this?", is a way for people to get together and suppress the minorities in a way that makes it feel inclusive.

Cry for laughter, cry for cheese, the camera knows your inner

Smiles are paralysed senses on the brink of laughter or outright breaking down into saltier and saltier marshes. The mouth, turning up at the face of all that is sad or rather mundane, is really looking to run and take care of itself. Away from your face. That liar in the mirror.

god remains silent and people speak

Starts and fits. No words for the leprotic when the bacteriotherapy fails to take. Bacteriotherapy, bacteriophage, it just more dissimulation: false promises and double bottoms.

It's the thought that counts against new things

Presents, like any other venereal diseases, are shared between people who broach a border of familiarity. The closer the bond, the grander the thought or price tag behind the gift. Socially, when not cared for, it's akin to dry drowning.

of dead horses and cryptograms

Foli[-age, +e à deux] creeps up in this place, Chicago School-driven. No other explanation for the slick suits that slid out the cloaca post-April spill. Shit stains tattooed on shit-stains, no amount of Canesten® will leave these souls clean.

Tea and Dialectics

People forget Mr. Lurkins ended up in the belly of a family of rats. Merry Christmas. Take that with you to where you rot, where eidolists sit and sip Japanese, bursars full to bursting.

Time to bank on stocks and socks falling out from NSA surveillance

Diluvian revelations never stop when it comes to the overreach of the NSA. Every week sheds a little more light on how far warrantless wiretapping and communication logging can help us make money, or absolve us of not breaking into a bank.

Who watches the washrooms?

Cheeks spread apart are easier to wipe than cheeks squished together. This is why you sit and spread when wiping, if you don't have a bidet, instead of standing up and feeling the squat of turd remnants Rorschach against your buttocks.
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