The Wax Conspiracy

Easter road toll 2017 chokes out 10 with the bilby and bunny

Smearing across the brow, trickling down the side of the face, not melted chocolate, but the expanse of blood out from the skin underneath. Another Easter road toll, and this bell gongs for 10 to the nation and make their way off the course and into the sidelines forevermore.

Atop the smouldering heap both New South Wales and Victoria start off the whole bang and boom neck and broken neck, eyeing down each other as one hangs loose out of the skull socket. Three at the run’s total. To get there, the limbs of NSW go with a variety including a motorbike, but Victoria holds a steady pattern as truck drivers fall down in their lanes.

Yes with such a short weekend there is no hope of higher numbers when authorities stifle expressions of interest for what seems an awful long time to bench an entire slate of ready and willings:

The inbound lanes of the Calder Freeway were closed for more than eight hours on Friday.

Who knows what game is even on the chalkboard anymore with Queensland not that far behind with two down, confirmed. The sunshine state too looking to hem the flow,

Police closed the highway in both directions and expected all lanes to remain shut for several hours, affecting people returning home after the Easter weekend.

If you can't drive you can't crash out and give your car a nice crispy burnt metal paint job. Are we even playing with humility at this point? Yes, you have the lead, but then to cut your own ankles off is rubbing it in the faces of those yet to score, or score at a slower pace.

Over in Western Australia they were looking like treble makers, but in the gory end, a single goner, slipping through the jaws of a car window and into the lines.

And with all that the Northern Territory takes it out by taking out someone either walking across the street, or as some would see it, "laying on the road in in Palmerston, near Darwin".

So ends the twentieth anniversary of double-demerit enforcement. Not with whimpers, but a lot of cars chugging away exhaust on choke points. Still, up from last year by two.

Ethan Switch

Written on Thursday, 20 April 2017

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