The Wax Conspiracy

Fast break in first week sets off 2014 national road toll, 28 at lunch

Lined up head to knee to neck to torso and what we have is another year on the road tolls. The holidays never stop making a mull of it. You can't rest until your lungs are crushed or ripped apart from a torn windshield. Them's the brakes. Screeching as we notch SA atop a country of 28.

South Australia proves to be that little darling that could ram a few cars into the night time sky and send up a glorious beacon of red and white flashing lights. For their sake, a rush to 8, most of that all done in the first week. SA sitting pretty pretty much for the rest of the season watching the other states play catch bag.

There, right on its tail with nothing to lose but plots on the cemetery, New South Wales nipped close on the heels with 7 for second place. Dropping the cost of petrol to under a dollar was a little too late as that speed run comes after the count period. You'll need to flood more cars in the trees earlier if you want to increase the bump.

Queensland and Victoria, (twisted) neck and (rubber) neck as the doors of the sedan blow out into the mid section, a collection of metal records 4 each for the chunky states. Sometimes, like a rainbow lorikeet with an aging body, you just want to jump out and, well. Human, you cannot.

Then we bring it up with Western Australia splitting syllables in twain for 3 on a fiery night of watching the stars bleed out into the bitumen and bring a smell once more that reminds us of the sprinkle of adding more salt than required to boil a pot of pasta. All dented.

Tasmania clips off the ears, leaving us with 2 as that cinches up the count of states that put in an effort to stack them bodies high enough to climb the wall between the years.

With nothing to show for the holiday, ACT and Northern Territory idle a chug in the garage. Lame trucks trying to at least generate some kind of carbon monoxide poisoning situation. Still, that's not how you play the game.

Some games you play to level out the field. And if we count it back to last year, we're on an even keel. Maybe. But maybe we all slide into a sort of national slope toward Orientalism when we build an Aokigahara sister forest out of what's dragged from the wreckage, not the foliage.

Ethan Switch

Written on Friday, 9 January 2015

The Wax Conspiracy



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