The Wax Conspiracy

Bifurcation on the national Christmas holiday road toll 2018 down to 37 splits

Screaming agony interrupts the Christmas to New Year’s period as the national holiday road toll spanning Australia’s coasts eases up and claims only 37 spillovers for the stretch.

Queensland, being the land of all that much closer to the equator, was two fingers up at the sky as they went for dismembered legs 11. Over their Christmas Road Safety Campaign (phase 2) bloc, it was a stunner out from the set. A modest improvement from last year’s and a damper on a yuletide request, “If we could have one Christmas wish, it would be for zero fatalities on Queensland roads during the holiday period”.

Yet mighty have they fallen as New South Wales and Victoria both forget the time and fall back heavily wedged in the middle seat with 7 each. Well down from last year by 75%, Operation Safe Arrival blames the NSW drop on a “highly-visible police presence in country areas” while Victoria had no real outspoken reason, just the numbers, and down too on a hefty scrap heap.

To make up for the loss in loss elsewhere and last year, Tasmania threw forth a pair of 18-year-old bodies to make their fatal five a true fatal five, striking up 5 for the season and making it all the worthwhile. Operation Crossroads lives up to the name as they roll with the Bone gang.

South Australia joins the price rollback fever with 4 for the floor during their Operation Safe Holidays. It’s at these times on countback that the numbers reflect the bodies being human in the tally. For sure there may be accidents involving animals, but a horse to glue does not count either way.

Doubling up from last year, it’s 2 for the Northern Territory. Quiet they may be on the roads most of the time, the patter of their score took in for the eve before Christmas proper.

Whether it’s not clickbaity enough, or just because the social media is slacking, it’s only 1 and done for Western Australia. But not without some flair as a caravan hauls off into the distance as a body lies on the ground.

Everyone already bailed from the ACT, so naturally there isn’t anyone left to knock out and splay along the roads. Zero for the country’s capital state.

Taking a life takes a breath and that’s what you get with low runs. Their lot cast inside the rough period of the Christmas and New Year span between 00:01 on Friday 21 December 2018 to 23:59 Tuesday 1 January 2019. A collective restive compared to the gleaming highs of 2017’s end. They can’t all reach such heights.

Ethan Switch

Written on Saturday, 5 January 2019

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