The Wax Conspiracy

Cradle to the grave in the 2016 national holiday road toll with 40 no more

Carry on a wayward trio, the top three states from the last outing are back at it again as the end of the Christmas and New Year holiday road toll ends with a forty and one as NSW triumphs once more unto the bleak.

Heading shoulders deep into the New Year’s break sees New South Wales tailing behind their southern state neighbour before taking out a toddler to make sure no grave stone is left unturned and turned again in the race for it all. And all up after the silence of the last shaking rattle the first state runs off with a dozen, sitting mighty on its throne once more as the heads of 12 will roll.

There between and making a modest improvement from last year’s downings, Victoria goes a nice round 9 and shows that you can never leave it alone for too long if you’re looking for the rights to an easy victory.

Queensland racks up the 8 and slides right into the third spot. Proving that all kinds of wheeled vehicles are up for slaughter, one of the eight braced into the cold is a seven-month-old boy in a pram taking one for the team. Run over no less by a woman leaving a funeral. There are so many spoons on the scene knifing that into the ground.

Reports are as messy as knees and elbows in a soup of red and gristle, but it's either Western Australia at 6 or 7 as the clang clangs its end. What exactly is the narrative at play here by the Australian Associated Press? Maybe enough to count one more for the road where “... a motorcyclist was killed in a multiple vehicle crash in Perth's north.” pops up a neck brace in one slab copy and not another.

South Australia is another player with a slight hitch to one-upping itself in the department of taking ones down. They rock out the clock out and 4 say no more to the next year.

Taking a light touch to fatal knock down, Northern Territory took 1 in a case of a hit-and-run in Darwin. That blue Toyota Aurion is out on a burner but at least we’re not a zero in the books.

ACT and Tasmania, because they’re just there now, roll on a lolly gagging and front up the back with no more than zeros each. The former taking the bigger hit from the year before as it’s down three in a marathon that can’t quite breathe under all that debris.

That’s another midnight to midnight run between 23 December 2016 to 3 January 2017 to bed. Call out to the whistling downs as the nation puts itself to a deep sleep to clean up the cans and other crushed metal.

Ethan Switch

Written on Wednesday, 11 January 2017

The Wax Conspiracy



Recently by Ethan Switch