The Wax Conspiracy

Death comes in waves; Wave back and don't be rude

Neck by broken neck, the recent suture of the national holiday road toll is all set to be wiped out by a flood of climbing numbers from the fresh killings of a tsunami.

Racking in a lower than expected death stew of a paltry 41, the national holiday road toll reported far lower than the impressive 81 corpses and mangled bodies recorded in the same time last year. Fingers were fired and excuses were found as the time period for this year was shortened by four days, taking away an avenue for a sudden rush of fresh human road kill in that concentrated time frame.

Fears were rampant that a less than accurate recording session may have contributed to the shockingly meagre numbers. Witnesses and crunchers on site were kept busy by revelers still make their way home from various New Year's celebrations. Desperate numbers prove catalyst for desperate actions. Reports note that a seven-year-old boy challenged death with a four-wheel drive right only to lose. Making a point on the possibly shoddy accounting, the death occurred just outside the Kiama police station. Just in time for inclusion toward the statistics.

ACT and Tasmania were notably absent in their contributions toward the national road toll.

Salvation in more deaths lie on the shattered shores of the Indian Ocean. From Indonesia and Sri Lanka to Tanzania and the Maldives, pickles are cropping up in the brine. Unofficial numbers read the Australian contingent of dead ratcheting past 21 and climbing ever more for relevancy. Glimmers of hope shine through in counting the mounting mortality hit.

Ethan Switch

Written on Friday, 7 January 2005

The Wax Conspiracy



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