Jimmy Weasel - Tuesday, 2 November 2004
Rain looked set to destroy the race known to stop a nation and its inhabitants. One state has a holiday, the others sit slackjawed and glued to the television or whatever media they can muster. "It's raining like a bastard down here," said one bystander, "it may have an impact on the outcome, but possibly only made the entire pack muddier."
Despite the outcome, the real winner seems to (once again) be those taking money from the saps. Previously never seen "employees" of many companies squeeze out of the woodwork to wander 'round, gathering funds in some kind of crazy sweep scheme; possibly linked back to Nigerian banking scams. The Great Magnet will pick one winner and draw them towards the finish to financial gain and their allotted 15 minutes.
Everyone else can rest assured that the Fleecing of the Gullible will continue long into our horrible future and cry great tears of loss into their failed betting slips.