The Wax Conspiracy

Backyard Streetball Jams and Rickety Rings

Watching the neighbours run around aimlessly as they gush pints of blood from their skulls or lie limp as they await the fresh breath of death following a regular backyard session of basketball has been far removed from the headlines. Perhaps it's due to the increase in awareness of the poor gerry rigged systems riding high atop many garages and car holds. Or it might be linked with the ever steady increase in global obesity in the Western world as the Third emaciate ever further from the realms of health.

Either way, the fine folks at LifeTime's Basketball division are getting ready to usher in a new age of backyard incidents and newsworthy deaths. Shepherds for such possibilities are their new Acrylic Fusion Backboard with Reactor Rebound system. The makeup of which is expected to have the dedicated backyarder playing to their hardest Cable Guy outfit.

"The Acrylic Fusion backboards are an advance from more traditional steel frame backboards in that they have a more appealing design, have a molded-in frame pad which is not susceptible to corrosion, and they are more affordable," said Aaron Hill, Director of Marketing for Lifetime Products. "Add the Reactor Rebound system and you get the best of both worlds—all the advantages of the Acrylic Fusion backboard and the great play of a steel-framed backboard."

Sweet is the pot of Jessica Alba soaked honey. With an improved backing board designed with stronger wear and tear the thought toward a secure bracket falls like a smooth shot. With the lure of better reactions following slam dunk attempts it's hoped yet that the sudden weight will still be enough to suprise the unsuspecting backyard player into rimming down their own death.

Ethan Switch

Written on Monday, 12 January 2004

The Wax Conspiracy

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