Ethan Switch - Tuesday, 25 February 2003
In the current climate—25°C, cloudy and with possible light showers—the need to reason a terrorism attack is of a bygone era. But there does still exist a hurdle for the potential of terrorist attacks. Namely the question of who to attack, when to attack and how to collect the compensatory hush money.
Knowing that an attack on a field of ducks would not have the same impact as that as a field of swans, there is a hint in the air of suspicion that the bombers amongst us all have recruited the efforts of one of the least vilified telemarketing professions of all. The surveyors.
In a simple quarter hour script, they gather a list of potentially worthwhile targets and those who should be held accountable for when the time comes to exhume the garbage tips for the mass graves. They also question the impact that visible security measures have on the public.
If you love the smell of napalm in the morning air, then be ready for a call from some organisation looking into your thoughts on the best impact that a planned attack could have on the sporting world at large.
Let the people consider what they find important, then thank them for their time. Then wrap it up.