The Wax Conspiracy

Clijsters is Hewitt is Cletus Kasady

Speculation continues following yet another one of Lleyton Hewitt's early round knock outs earlier this week that Hewitt and Kim Clijsters share a symbiotic relationship. One that drains power and determination from one to feed the other. Like a hamster that eats its young.

While the pair did win their respective singles titles at Indian Wells earlier this year, Clijsters was ranked number three in the world while Hewitt was number one.

But now Clijsters is ranked one as Hewitt slipped down to sixth placing on the ATP charts.

During their initial courting many believed the relationship was reminiscent of the Seinfeld episode where neurotic George dated a woman who looked remarkably like comedian Jerry. But that was three years ago. And things haven't gotten any better in terms of creepiness.

If Hewitt and Clijsters are able to stand atop their respective associations simultaneously then they will have no doubt doused the fires of gossip wrapped in alien genetics and possibly those of dark ritualistic body morphings.

Ethan Switch

Written on Wednesday, 13 August 2003

The Wax Conspiracy

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