Cat Under a Hot Tinned Roof

Ethan Switch - Friday, 21 November 2003 - 08:59:10 - print it raw

Opening the doors of his illegally erected shed, Fenton Perry came upon a cat that had lost out the entirety of its nine lives. There, in a lump of unmoving feline mass was the carcass of the cause for many of his wondering thoughts. "Watching sheep eat pigs is fun." said Perry as he swung the cat around, shaking off the bugs and ants that had crawled their way into the orifices.

The find did not come as much of a surprise to Fenton who recalled having seen a furry tail wave about before disappearing under the tight eave of the northern end. "Funny was seeing a tail hanging out like a fat teenager wearing hipsters" remarked Fenton as flies started feasting on his arm

From the misshapen skull, it would appear that the cat bashed its own head in while trying, in vain, to either signal a rescue or create a new exit from the shed "I assumed that the cat had a way out."