The Wax Conspiracy

Speed of sound, strength of butter, smell of cerise

Turtle cracking champion, Poul March, struck down by a falling shell. Walking through the desert sands on his way to emcee a backyard wrestling match, March was hit on the skull as a crow overheard let loose its payload.

Unnaturally bald, and a man incapable of not sweating, March's head was of the perfect stone shine normally used in situations of birds cracking such animals as turtles, tortoises and terrapins.

Or so is first thought.

Despite the natural fingering movement of the skyward accusations, in reality it was a missile shot from rival Finn Sprouse. Part testing his clay shooting equipment and deliberately aiming projectiles at the head of March, it's been alleged that the attack was a retaliation.

Of two seasons past in the regional Turtle Cracking Championships, Poul March and Finn Sprouse were head to head in the semi-finals. Locked and loaded with their charges, a controversial decision to allow March to compete without the assistance of socks is believed to have cost Sprouse his chances at the finals.

Ethan Switch

Written on Thursday, 9 February 2006

The Wax Conspiracy

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