The Wax Conspiracy

Nature takes it back on the Christmas 2022 holiday road toll on 34

If it wasn’t the end of it all, it is the end of all of it all the same. Kick over the bins and fill up the holes in the backyard, it’s silver and trees taking us out. On the deep red wash of Christmas 2022 and New Year’s the national road toll brushes 34 under Australia.

Pushing away from the middle of the bloody pack of last year, Queensland takes it all in stride as 11 notch the tally. From Banana to Bonogin it was all a case of silver linings on the morgue trays. Then, then comes the question of if a tree falls in the woods and nobody is there to be impacted by it, did the bones make a sound? Perhaps not if there’s all that metal to drown it out.

The Forensic Crash Unit is investigating a fatal crash at Glass House Mountains after a tree fell onto a car. Initial investigations indicate at 12:20pm a black hatch was driving south on Old Gympie Road when a large tree fell on top of the car. The driver, a 20-year-old Little Mountain woman and her passenger, an 80-year-old Glass House Mountains woman, both died at the scene.

Nodding into second, New South Wales with nine (9) over the 11-day spread of Operation Christmas/New Year. Almost enough to double the points from last year, but just so shy. It’s not without trying, as a snap at the end of a year from a multi-car scene shepherds one forever into the night, and nine others manage to amble and just go about the rest of their days.

Careening into third spot with seven (7) on their blocks, Victoria and the washing down of the roads at night. There be the Garden State, just on the branch but the days close up with a week’s worth to count. Only a few more hours into the next period and they could have sidled higher with four gone in a single crash. Alas, time is the enemy of both the living and dead.

South Australia rankles about and loses with nature at six (6) in fourth place. They played the numbers game and rolled a double on the year previous. Answering that call from nature, they respond with the lives of three against a tree and say yes, if a tree doesn’t fall on you first you can still fall life first into a trunk.

Fifth position sees the Northern Territory rack up an appearance with one (1) flying through the air. They call it an ejection when there isn’t even a proper seat on the back of a ute, “The boy was an occupant of a 4WD utility and was reportedly riding in the tray of the vehicle at the time of the incident. He is reported to have been ejected from the tray.”

Down under hauling in the black lungs of coal, Tasmania and the ACT both with zero. The patch of thatch with nothing to show for it on their Operation Safe Arrival. ACT giving it a none despite quite a few speedsters.

And after all that maybe we are finally there yet. Until the nationals from another country fly in with a new strain of COVID-19 and we wonder why and when it really ends. Or do we just fade away as footnotes like those on the roads between 00:01 Friday 23 December 2022 to 23:59 Monday 2 January 2023. If they open up the roads they’ll open up the air and our lungs can shut down all the same.

Ethan Switch

Written on Wednesday, 11 January 2023

The Wax Conspiracy



Recently by Ethan Switch