The Wax Conspiracy

Pope Benedict XVI steps out from smoke, rings bell, steps back

After days of smoking the black smoke from the chimney of their smokey conclave, the Roman Catholic Church broke their eyelids to the daylight and elected a new shepherd for their 1.1 billion grade of cattle stock. Hailing from the wilds of Germany, Cardinal Joseph Ratzinger.

Like many Popes before him, Ratzinger adopted a new, more homely, Christian name. Riding the robes of white baring flesh like a vampire without a tan, the German Cardinal declared Pope Benedict XVI as his new moniker. Building upon the media library of previous Benedicts with a hopeful gain to sequel contender status against the previous and late edition of XV.

The first few rounds of selection were mired in a hazy smoke of an indeterminate smokey haze. Perceptions of pure white muddled with a trail of black choke. Then grey would delude an affirmative answer. Finally, after rounds given to the black mystics, white billowing plumes. Confirmation on the confirmation only coming at the tolling of the bells from Saint Peter's Basilica.

At 78-years-old, the staunch conservative is the 265th Pontiff to head up the Roman Catholic Church. Following on from the legacy of the terminally unresponsive Pope John Paul II, it's hoped that the tenure of Benedict XVI will not be as painfully drawn out or as wildly radical as that of the turfed Pole.

Snipers and assassins are already lining themselves up to help usher in a new wave of grief and attention in just a couple years time. Hardline views reversing easy with a transitional Pope's swift departure. Their aim to be true and guided by the voices of a God that may or may not be in leagues with the God of the other God.

Ethan Switch

Written on Wednesday, 20 April 2005

The Wax Conspiracy

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