The Wax Conspiracy

Kitchen Antics - Sweet/Sticky/Spicy Pork Stirfry

A spicy treat fit for weekends or weekdays or whenever the culinary urge strikes. Use it to impress friends and win acclaim/stunned silence/awed gasps (please use responsibly).

You will need

Crank the bass on your stereo to its physical limit and begin the music.

Set your big, sharp knife to 'slice' and set to work on the veggies - making them like you'd find on your plate in the Asian eateries. Don't bother cutting the baby corn. Just rinse. In fact, make sure all your vegetables are rinsed, or you'll get some foul lurgy from whatever poisons were sprayed on it, or from whatever deadbeat felt up the entire produce section looking for that perfect specimen. Those buggers are known for not washing their hands properly and can pass on the gastroenteritis. This will inflame the lining of your stomach. It will not make you feel very good.

Once all vegetables are cut, similarly slice your pork into strips fit for a stir fry. Or you can buy it pre-sliced - I won't be offended.

Mix the chili sauce, ginger, garlic, soy and cola and keep to one side.

Heat the bejesus out of the oil (about 1 1/2 T) in a non-stick fry pan. Start your rice cooking - it gets hectic here. Keep an eye on the rice at all times; you'll heat it on the highest setting and ever-watching, drop the hotplate to the lowest setting until all the water is gone. Seriously. Watch it like a hawk. One with perfect vision.

Crack open a beer and get limber. You'll need your wrists and dexterity for this.

Throw your pork into the fry pan and stir vigorously. Use the handle and toss it a little. Once it starts to brown, (mostly but not totally (you should still be able to see a little white/pink)) pour the sauce in and stir for another 3 minutes. It should froth and bubble like a maniac. This is good. You'll want to cook of some of that liquid - less liquid means more stickiness.

Add your vegetables and continue to stir. After 5 minutes, your stir fry is ready. Depending on your volume of rice, it too should be soon ready.

Go Eat! Enjoy! Mingle with your Guests!

Published on Tuesday, 13 June 2006

By Jimmy Weasel Jimmy Weasel

Making meals for the world to enjoy.

If you're looking to get it on in other types of sizzle fry, check out the stir-fry books at

The Wax Conspiracy



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