The Wax Conspiracy

Homebrew Diary - Barrel of Blackrock Pale Ale

Thinking about the first brew brings a nostalgic burn back up my throat. This brew is perhaps ubiquitously known throughout homebrewing circles as the "practice brew." The expectations are as mixed as they are high. And the anticipation is dangerously frustrating as the realisation of a six week wait is at your fingertips to find out whether you'll be a success or a drunken failure.

Take heart — the difference between a good brew and a bad one is about two and a half longnecks.

The first brew is also a great way to get a feel for how homebrew will treat a man. The style of drunkenness can only be described as "a creeper," as you don't notice the effects of the first few. Perhaps thoughts are elsewhere (perhaps about how brilliant one is for making beer in one's bathtub).

As the night (or morning in some circumstances) slips on, the steady metamorphosis into a total sot completes unbeknownst to the inebriate, who will only notice the slow effect when his words are mixed up, misused, malapropped or dangerously spoonered.

Beyond this point, there is little hope.

It has been observed (and quite probably proven) that the hangover will be less intense than spending the evening drinking a similar amount of a commercial beer. This may be due to the lack of crap added to the homebrew. Beyond sugar, water, yeast and some sticky molasses stuff, there's not much else.

So "Blackrock Pale Ale" is a great brew to start on. It's moderately cheap, and you won't feel like a dumb ass for wasting money when you screw it up. It is a little like a few of the commercial pale ales out there, but this brew #1 was a little watery, as there was an error in interpreting instructions for "fill to 21 litres" as "add 21 litres". Thus, the first brew ended up tasting like a Cooper's Mild (the orange one); Beer + water. It wasn't bad. Just thin.

Brew #1 had less clouds and floaty shit than Coopers.

Note: If your brew is too watery, let it sit a few more weeks. The last bottle of brew #1 was far greater than the first.

Published on Thursday, 7 September 2006

By Jimmy Weasel Jimmy Weasel

Making meals for the world to enjoy.

The Wax Conspiracy


Other articles by Jimmy Weasel

Kitchen Antics - Chicken in Faux Ragoût

Ladder of flavour? A few rungs above bland. This can be constructed & delivered in less than 30 minutes, depending on your aptitude with a ...

Homebrew Diary - Wheatbeer of misery

If what can turn a foul mood around becomes the harbinger of the foul mood, what happens next? Turn it into a learning experience. And when that learning curve makes a late break over the plate, ...

Homebrew Diary - Blackrock IPA + Hops

It doesn't take a big man to admit that he drinks. It takes a big man to get wasted and perform impromptu sermons naked from a balcony; raving upon the ravages of the insanity of strata by-laws ...

More articles by Jimmy Weasel

Kitchen Antics - Sweet/Sticky/Spicy Pork Stirfry

80% alliterative. Deliberate? Subconsciously. All normal thought stolen by the weight and treachery of the outdoor world. A world where a boy has to battle all manner of foes armed to the teeth ...

Kitchen Antics - The Mushroom and Salami Incident

If you cook naked, and you get burned, then you're a chump, and I'll throw my empties at you from my balcony. Goddamnit, boy! Put some pants on and cook like a ...

Kitchen Antics - The Chilli & Garlic Chicken Stir Fry

Als de tijd uw vijand is en u geen tijd om hebt te verspillen door dingen in de verkeerde orde te doen, bereid me omhoog door één van de bieren voor te drinken zoals afgeslagen uw groenten, ...