The Wax Conspiracy

FINIS: the 1st theory of the end of the world

"This is surely the end", I thought to myself not 15 minutes ago. Reading the twisted tales of Ba-ha-manian cloning claims by the Evil Clonaid/Rael GoonSquad filled my heart with fear.

"Why, yes it's possible to clone. We've had the power all along". Words that are probably in their heads right now, and words like that precede a great horror. And they state that once the cloning technique is perfected, it's just a matter of finding how to store a lifetime of memories, and then transfer said memories into the new body for the rest of eternity.

"Nonsense" you say. "such things are in the skulls of freaks and fiction authors." But if you'd actually read my jabbering about microsoft, then you will be as afraid as I am. Maybe not as much; anti-malarian pills have lived up to their warned side-effect of depression and dizziness leading me to believe strange things and not walk on the pavement cracks. You'll also notice, if you read the whole article, that it's cheaper to have your remains sent to the moon rather than having them cloned down here.

What would be the point of this eternal existance? Bear witness to the unfolding of the human tragedy we know as life forever more. Watch the earth's slow decay and humankinds own self-destructive nature. Watch the overpopulation and resurrection of the freshly dead. Watch it all from the confort of your armchairs and beanbags. Have a friend or two over; make a night of it.

Quality viewing to be sure.

"I alliterated a sentence....Hey! I verbed 'alliterate'....LANGUAGE IS DEAD!"

Published on Saturday, 28 December 2002

By Jimmy Weasel Jimmy Weasel

Making meals for the world to enjoy.

The Wax Conspiracy

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