The Wax Conspiracy

Whales to berth as preferred refugee transport

Loneliness and an empty work roster makes for the Abbott Government to sound like they want to be harsh against asylum seekers and refugees. But that's if you're riding on old money boats. Whale guts are where it's at and where they're not wanting you to look, but look.

Corpses from the United States don't translate their data well for Australian forensics. They're too loaded with a makeup of 60% high fructose corn syrup and General Tso chicken. Incompatible with numbers here of 20% Vegemite and whatever it is they churn out in those schnitzels at the local RSL. For however they crank the data as they listen to "Ruby Tuesday", all rot is not the same. As much as a pig is not human, so is whale not fish is not boat.

Case in point, the rotting carcass of a whale humping a dump of itself off the coast of Western Australia.

The Fisheries Department didn't think it fair to front up to Scarborough to heft the cost of its removal. Whales, as you know from all those school lessons trying to show you up for your wicked book learning from the back of cereal boxes, are not fish. The Fisheries Department wouldn't get involved if it was cattle on a suntanner. Not their jurisdiction.

"I spoke to the Minister for Fisheries' office yesterday and was told they are not going to foot the bill, because it's a mammal not a fish," [City of Stirling mayor Giovanni Italiano] said.

Clear case of a government office knowing what one thing is not and pulling a medium on the line.

That whale that turned up on Scarborough? Only a few weeks prior a passenger tried to get on board, but left soon after when he found his ticket was for the next whale scheduled.

You can see where things are going.

It wasn't that long ago that the Coalition Government boasted about how many boats it's turned back from creeping over the shore borders.

A factsheet released by [the Immigration] office has revealed that 383 asylum seekers on 12 boats were turned back from Australian waters.

Going over the fact sheet you'll quickly notice a trend of how these refugees were supposedly travelling the seas. Boats, boats and more boats (kept afloat no doubt by using small children for buoyancy).

Know how many "illegals" were either caught arriving, or turned back from, riding on whales-as-boats?


It's time the smugglers Pinocchio up this pitch and start carving up a new channel. Talk in technicalities is the solenoid to pass through a new current of arrivals.

Whaling in the Arctic Ocean
Record of a tender linking with a whale ship - The British Library

Western Australia, which like the Federal Government, is helmed by a Liberal football, and stands with the Northern Territory at the frontlines in seeing arrivals crossing in from the Indian Ocean and Timor Sea. And, with its bold stance on whales not being fish (and subsequently not being boats) can help not-break the Abbott Government's promise. That promise being:

If the Coalition is elected, no-one who arrives illegally by boat will receive permanent residency.

It was only September they started floating on the table a new bill for visas. One where:

Thousands of asylum seekers could be released into regional areas to clear a backlog of 30,000 unprocessed claims. Under legislation introduced to parliament on Thursday asylum seekers will be able to apply for a three-year temporary protection visa or a five-year safe haven enterprise visa.

You harp on enough about the method of boat arrivals, working itself into a planned obsolescence, and people will start rafting whales in due time. It's practically a growth industry.

Ethan Switch

Written on Friday, 21 November 2014

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