The Wax Conspiracy

Warning on dirt hungry impetus of lazy Sunday body bag drivers

Days yet away from official phone and toll booth crumple zone extravaganzas for Easter, police and doctors are sighing disbelief at the current state of numbers. Comparing corpses to that of the previous year, 2006 is already leaping ahead, up 25 per cent and with no signs of abating.

Professor Danny Cass, chair of the Royal Australasian College of Surgeons, says surgeons dealing with road accident victims fear drivers becoming lazy about road safety. This despite the most unequivocal proactive movement in grave allotments and crematorium appointments.

Unfortunately, for any future crop of drivers and pedestrians too close to the action, no current analysis has proven to yield the formula for the current success rate in accidents.

"There doesn't seem to be any rhyme or reason - if we look at the statistics, it's young people, old people," said New South Wales Traffic Services Commander John Lippmann.

Ethan Switch

Written on Sunday, 9 April 2006

The Wax Conspiracy

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