The Wax Conspiracy

Fries Like a Duck, Tastes Like a Duck, Priced Like a Bald Eagle

Feeding the rise of the obese American is their lack of exercise and constant arm bending toward the open maw. Attempting to attack this scene toward benefiting the welfare of the meaty masses, the American Chiropractic Association.

Urging the curb of the oral splurge, the ACA want Americans everywhere to take 2000 more steps than usual and to inhale 100 fewer calories. "Adding a short walk to your lunchtime schedule, coupled with taking the stairs at work rather than the elevator, could add up to 2,000 additional steps for many of us. And cutting just one can of soda from your day and replacing it with water can eliminate more than 100 calories," said Dr. George McClelland, Chair of the ACA.

Collaborating with the America on the Move initiative, the ACA are glossing over the inability of most forklift riders to set any pace. Broken and twisted bones could very well result as a whale steps to the charge. Doctors be vending from bones that need tending.

Ethan Switch

Written on Friday, 9 April 2004

The Wax Conspiracy

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