Quiet is the hush into the crashing sensation that is known across the XXXX swilling land as the long weekend. Glorious hope of quivering doubt that the tallies report from the nation's roads will at least net a double digit figure.
From coursing the sealed, it's highly unlikely that zombies will number any of the crumpled. Certainly not if the warning sounded by The Porcelain One known as Nicole Kidman reaches the shores down under to at least holiday the weekend away.
Attacks on the zombie nation aren't as severe as the assault on the environmental station. Changing the face of climate matters a lot. With the surf turfed to die a little more each day, Professor Tim Flannery pockets the honour of being the Australian of the Year. Facing down Prime Minister Howard, Flannery promises to speak back the flack on any less than stellar movement of the tracks.
All that nonsensical as the true highlight bearing down in the day of invasion is the inaugural "Word of the year" handed down from the flubby jeans. Muffin top, deemed by the Macquarie Dictionary as the most prominent addition. Not unlike the jabs of flab peeking over the belt itself. Unsightly sights covered up patriotically with the Australian Flag. If not otherwise used as a makeshift drop cloth to remove the lifeless from the scene.
What it boils down to, in this one crowded hour, is that there won't always be room for everything and every one.
Zombies will die. Again. Climates will rot and wither. And women who choose to pull in physiques in less than accommodating jeans will find their meat made into the stuff of baked goods.
Written on Friday, 26 January 2007