The Wax Conspiracy

Amplified Salivations on Danish Royal Wedding

Tasting the flavour of an injection of Australian royalty within their reaches, viewers left unsullied by a disconnect to the impending Danish royal wedding. Royal nuptials are far and few between, one with Australian blood even rarer still and the union of Prince Frederik Christian and Tasmania's Mary Donaldson has been rubbed vigourously into the eyes of the masses stronger than a salt force on the Mainland.

Blanket coverage is rivalling major news points for the week. The treatment and quiet joy of prisoner treatment befalling Iraqis captured in battle, darkly humourous American beheadings, faked photographs showing British soldiers getting their heels into the Iraqis and the Federal Budget overspill.

Live coverage of the event will be beamed from Copenhagen Cathedral, the Church of Our Lady in the early hours of the Australian morning. Whether anything actually happens during the procession of the wedding train may end up as nothing more than a page three sidebar nestled between recall advertisements and mobile phone deals.

Positively set to beam are the women's magazines long craving new blood for their wedding sections. Fearing the clotting of copy bled from the carcass of Princess Diana and her family, the Australian addition to royalty will be much cherised by their sect for years. A gruesome death more so.

Ethan Switch

Written on Friday, 14 May 2004

The Wax Conspiracy

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