The Wax Conspiracy

All done, all gone, all out of auctioneering earshot

Implied confusion and supposed trickery led to a less than fulfilling turn out at a recent auction. For weeks leading up to the day of the event in question, the announcement board clearly stated that proceedings would take place: On Site (Here) Saturday 11am, May 31.

A small gathering turned up on the day and time in question while a handful of others were seen standing agog for minutes on end outside the offices of the realtor conducting the auction. They jostled for prime position up to the hour of the spaceless drive.

Concerns were raised following a previous outing wherein an auctioneer from another agency stalled on a bid price for five minutes while shouting over the traffic and thickening smog of cars: "Think of the location!"

The double talk used by real estate agents at times of auctions had had some in serious doubt, so much so that the addition of the word Here following On Site raised questions of both the intelligence of other attendees and the promoters of the auction.

It was the first time the new wording was tested on the residents of the lots of excavation and looks doubtful that it will be used ever again.

Spotting the deflated turnout the auctioneer attempted to stall for seven minutes on 370 thousand. As a building site was mere metres across the road a wayward brick nearly brought proceedings to an premature end.

Ethan Switch

Written on Tuesday, 3 June 2003

The Wax Conspiracy

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