The Wax Conspiracy

Terminator 3: Ripening Machines

It's 10 years since the sequel to the first. 20 years from the original itself. Arnold is now old enough to be going grey and lightening in the hair department. This is no problem. Arnold was born to play robotic roles.

Upon entering the theatre, after standing in a queue for 23 minutes, we had found that two thirds of the seats to be filled. All of the seats had been laced with complimentary drinks and popcorn; the kind people will drug to make a film seem more appealing than it is. Ethan didn't seem concerned with this, and began to indulge his palette.

Once the lights went down, some spokesperson carried by two Terminator-dressed wannabes entered the room and wandered up to a microphone and brought a giggle to the audience with the worst Arnold impression ever uttered. A voice yelled out "you suck" and parts of the audience agreed. The woman jabbered about the movie and her radio station (who should be asking serious questions about the choice of her as the speaker) and said the word "terminator" six times.

The film opens up with narration from the now-grown John Connor; not played by Edward Furlong for reasons kept out of reach from me. The role went to Nick Stahl who seemed to look a lot like I remember the original John Connor appearing. Wild haired and unkempt. A natural in the role and moderately reluctant world-saving hero.

The opening shows once again a scene from the "final battle" between man & machine: the world has been saved and a tattered American flag is waving. This is about 31 years in the future.

Why does America always end up saving the world? Simple. Skynet is an American product. The onus is, or should be, upon Americans to clean up their own mess.

Flash back to the present, or to the past when the film was made, and John Connor is a vagrant trying to evade "the system" by drifting from place to place and not really getting a job.

Claire Danes makes an appearance 14 minutes into the film, and also fit well into her role as a kidnapped vet named Kate Brewster. Coincidentally having a past with John Connor. Coincidentally the daughter of the man who will execute Skynet.

Kristanna Loken acts less than robotic in her role as the T-X; a machine sent back to kill both Connor and Brewster. Her AI (and kung-fu) is far superior to Arnold's. This is made apparent all the way through the film. But she hasn't got Arnold's guile.

This film is one long chase scene, spread out over a series of smaller chase scenes. Each time, the TX gets a little closer to her quarry, who both sweat their way into their respective destinies.

The book(s?) upon which this film is based is presumably a compendium of onomatopaeic explosions and gunshots. The text at the end of the credits said to both read the books and play the Atari game. A cunning advertisement, but most of the audience had left. Even the woman next to me had fled. While earlier was keen to fill in the boring wait for the film with a little banter, she'll find a both a strange transparent business card when she goes through her handbag later on, and a fleeting reference to herself on a strange website.

The line "I'll be back" or variations on the same theme, seemed to keep the crowd amused. Maybe it should have been rendered in Dutch. The laughter gathered from the audience renders the following possibility: this film is partially self-parody. Some parts seem to be clearly in jest: a close look at background reveals Macduff lays on (interred) as a motley trio creep into a crypt to lock and load. Perhaps this is because of a change of directors. Jonathan Mostow received this particular baton from James Cameron, who was possibly too busy doing something else to bother.

This film is entertaining, if not a little glib while providing food for thought. Can AI machines become self aware? Evidently. But what would they do? Vonnegut would have us believe they would self destruct in a fit of passionate despair. Others would have us believe they'd try and take over the world. Who's to know? Psychics. However, we do learn that robots are surly and unnecessarily destructive; a little too destructive to suit their own needs. We also learn that people will grow to fill their destinies. And we learn that Arnold is immune to aging.

Jimmy Weasel

Reviewed on Monday, 14 July 2003

The Wax Conspiracy

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