The Wax Conspiracy

Can You Smell It? (Kings vs Wildcats - Grand Finals: Game 1 - 03/04/03)

The area outside the Entertainment Centre was filled more so than I've ever known it to be. More than a month or so ago during Seniors Week when they were cattled off in buses to some unknown destination. Blocking a set of steps to the upper levels were six amigos in full three amigo attire. One gave me the eye but I think it might have been either lazy or glassy. I'm hoping glassy. Seats in the centre were pretty much full, all except for a smattering of purple upholstery here and there in the vacancies. On a regular game there'd be an expanse between the back wall and the last line of patrons, that wall was taken up that night.

There was no music to warm up the freezing fans. The six amigos obviously couldn't get themselves a gig at Game One. The Stone Age Lion was lowered from the rafters but unlike Owen Hart only his feathery wings dropped from the height. His cape was thrown off as soon as his hind feet touched the ground and with the excitement, proceeded to strip down to his jocks. While they Kings were being introduced this near naked Lion was strutting his fur.

The intro music for the Perth Wildcats was from the circus and something from Rage Against the Machine from The Matrix trailers led in the Sydney Kings. The music and the deafening roars of the crowd did anything to knock Perth about as they shot away with the lead in the first quarter. Williams of the Kings did his best for showmanship with a break and slamdunk close to the end of the first. Kings were trailing by some obscene amount.

Back into the second and the Kings looked like they wanted to fight it out. The lead changed back and forth in the second and third quarters. Neither team lead more than about 12 at any one time. The defence of each team managed to keep the scores slow and respectably edgy. It's without a doubt the level of excitement to a game greatly increases in relation to the amount you have on the line. An old man to my right looked as if he had his house ready to go back to the bank lest the Kings didn't seriously put the fear into the visitors.

The reason for fans. Almost as if in unison each time a basket was made for the home team they would be rewarded with an overwhelmingly reassuring cheer. Each time a basket or call was made against, mystified silence and jeers. The usual, but on this night, amplified. Most apparent when the turnovers reminded some of the circus music played earlier in the night.

Unfortunately with all that was going on, Shakaya were back from singing the national anthem as the half-time entertainment. That in itself is a misnomer. Half of the Centre filed out as soon as they stepped on. It was no coincidence. They sang what was purportedly a hit single and finished off their time in the middle by butchering Michael Jackson's work. For a half a minute it seemed as if the CD was skipping, what with them stuck on one line and the backing blaring to a hiss. It was a sight and perhaps the six amigos would have done justice to the fifteen minute intermission. But on with the massacre...

The Kings kept up their intensity over the Cats. The scoring was extremely tight and hard fought. Fouls were handed out, but not as freely as the simple mistakes were made. Double dribbling in one, traveling in a few others. The points crept slowly and laboriously toward the 70 point mark. Though the form of Ricky Grace and his Wildcats had the Kings fans more than worried it didn't do well to settle the visiting coach who used his timeouts every chance he could to slow the momentum of the Kings.

The Stone Age Lion took the floor in a timeout and pulled a woman from the stands. Stunned, she stood and did not move. The crowd wanted otherwise. She did end up showing a few moves, but that Lion is a wild one. So wild he lost his head and revealed a Michael Jackson face underneath. Shakaya were already out of the building.

Gripped with fear of a loss the hearts of fans skipped beats as the clock ran down to the final minute. Seconds out of the end and the Kings were struggling to keep the Cats at bay. The margin was an uncomfortable two to three points. Then, with eleven seconds to the final buzzer Shane Heal took to the charity line and put the King's four points ahead. With no time left to answer back, the game was done.

Ethan Switch

Reviewed on Friday, 4 April 2003

The Wax Conspiracy

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