The Wax Conspiracy

Spears beats Princess Mary in spitting out another human

Catapults are shooting into the shallow waters of floating corpses and burning houses. Two princesses battle it out over the maternal stakes, losing both at once their innocence complete and a title of pregnant expectations.

Britney Spears, pop princess of the Newfoundland known as trailer park, rushed actual Princess Mary of Denmark to squatting out a new breathing human. Sparing no chances for another day's wait, Caesarian section to siphon the cause of the amniotic fluid.

Another strain on the world's resources and an ages old reason for the expansion of womanly girth. Reasons men are still years from co-opting.

Denmark's Princess, however, fails to complete the run and merely checks in for what turns out to be a health scare. Of hers and not the heir in the waiting womb.

Reflecting to heart the pager edict of "Baby One More Time," translated far too literally, a father is found guilty of killing his baby boy. No more consternation over an annual presentation.

Ethan Switch

Written on Thursday, 15 September 2005

The Wax Conspiracy

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