Crowned the second Australian Idol over Melbourne's Anthony Callea, Casey Donovan, like the rest of the viewing nation, endured the hours upon hours long procession of proclamation of Sunday night seemingly unaware of the bandit storm to follow.
Watching eager on the wings, the gay porn industry salivated as its spread creamed the young fertile minds of unsuspecting children in the Monday morning glory.
Telstra's BigPond, under the belief that Idol's Casey Donovan was the only Casey Donovan in existence, shocked the turgid state of parents by running advertisements slapped with the 16-year-old alongside caseydonovan.com in their congratulatory ads in the Herald Sun and Daily Telegraph newspapers.
Those expecting the official site, with the Idol's rush release, Listen With Your Heart, instead found their mouths full and agape at the sight of a gay porno star's impressive appendage and horribly simplistic website.
BigPond corporate affairs manager Craig Middleton attempted to lay blame on a "simple human error in the last-minute preparation of the ad." Though production problems may appear to be the superficial alarm, the genius marketing cross-coordination runs deep up the backside.
Plagued all through the finals until the end, contender Callea was saddled with rumours of homosexuality and a tendency for tender meats. Rising hope bubbled the bath as week after week Donovan and Callea survived each elimation round and made their way to the final at the Sydney Opera House on Sunday night. Void of personality, either singer would be crafted into the next vehicle of music's disregarded state.
Public relations would have BigPond apologetic and humble in their dropping of the .au in the domain. Orchestrating a master back door stroke, readers of the tabloid publications are led to believe it all to be an honest mistake, while gay activists—recently incensed at the remarks of radio schlock jocks John Laws and Steve Price at Queer Eye for the Straight Guy's Carson Kressley—were rolling naked with oil in the wings as a "pillow biter" steals the spotlight.
Radicals and the right-wing believe that with this, gays and lesbians are being shoved down the throat while the left welcome the telecommunication giant's stand and apparent acceptance and advertisement by sensational slip.
Casually interested and bemused parties—as well as shocked parents and teachers—have been informed that videos and DVDs of gay porn, featuring man on (and under) man action, are still available through the American's website.
Written on Monday, 22 November 2004