The Wax Conspiracy

Round one: Kylie Minogue versus Breast Cancer

Breast cancer statistics have found a better and more marketable face for their concern and campaign. Kylie Minogue.

Ravaging through headlines, covering up disorientated women deported for speaking languages other than English and concerns over plane travel, the cancer struck its public blow on the eve of Minogue's Australian leg of her Showgirl tour.

Previous ambassadors by circumstance, Olivia Newton John and Belinda Emmett, fell out of favour with the cancer as their years dragged on. With no signs of actual self-generating buzz or new content, their dwindling time in the spotlight feasted upon an incestuous bed of power and worth as they drained all energy away from the cancer.

Seeking to rectify this matter, the cancerous entity went quiet and laid relatively low, denying them of significance. Though operating with a less than pronounced face of operations, it still devastated the breasts of women around Australia and the world.

With news that the former mechanic, Charlene Robinson, was not to appear in the thirtieth anniversary of the soap drama, ears were pricked. Coupled with the timing of the Showgirl tour and an ever brightening media gaze upon the budgie singer, it set in for its attack.

Breast cancer will now, for at least as long as it is able to sustain the relationship, enjoy the stunning limelight afforded by Minogue. Offhand in a chance, it also helps her with the trumping of Delta Goodrem's rather non-lethal Hodgkin's Lymphoma, Goodrem herself a former Neighbour's star who has broken into the world of song. Yet she will be in the anniversary special.

Scalpers have been assured that they may be able to offload their tickets as promoters are rather optimistic that the Showgirl tour may still go ahead.

Ethan Switch

Written on Wednesday, 18 May 2005

The Wax Conspiracy



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