The Wax Conspiracy

Princess Mary hits the hospital and finally ejects a baby

Salivating at the swinging lips with postings of sonic zoom cameras on paparazzi fists, tabloid magazines are gearing up for the first elusive shot of another young baby boy. After a few false starts, Crown Princess Mary of Denmark finally gave birth to an heir.

Shooting out and scratching a perfect 10 on the Apgar score, the as yet unnamed babe was born in the early hours at Rigshospitalet in Copenhagen (Copenhagen University Hospital). Along with the 10, the new Danish heir weighs in at 3.5 kilograms and stretches out to just over half a metre at 51 centimetres.

Grown men fleet of feet and short on contract will battle against official royal photographers in snaring the first and freshest shots of the nubile young lad.

Lines between the paparazzi and men who regularly photograph young nubile children for entry into exclusive clubs of like minded will blur in the name of supermarket fascination.

Princess Mary, now a citizen of Denmark, fails to qualify for the baby bonus.

Ethan Switch

Written on Saturday, 15 October 2005

The Wax Conspiracy

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