Aperçus of Paranoid Times

Things My Children Will Never Experience Growing Up

Belvedere Jehosophat - Sunday, 18 July 2010 - 12:15:56

Skipping lightly over the waters of Lake Bogoria in Kenya an Olive Baboon crashes into a flock of Lesser Flamingo. A veneer of pink is now stained with fast moving brown. Punctuation: slavering jaws. The stained-red dog-like muzzle of the baboon is withdrawn from the wound. It doesn’t take years to break this code. Eves speaking on Fermat’s Last Theorem, “[it] has the peculiar distinction of being the mathematical problem for which the greatest number of incorrect proofs have been published.” This, however, is wholly an economic decision; flesh versus fruit → primate versus bird. This dynamic can be pie-charted and graphed.

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The Frighteners [a fragment]

Belvedere Jehosophat - Saturday, 3 July 2010 - 22:21:21

Warily, Ruth opens the door.

Lumley is sitting in the kitchen eating kimchi from a takeaway container. The cat is on his knee. He is smiling at Ruth.

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Sea urchins churn and, in doing...

Belvedere Jehosophat - Monday, 21 June 2010 - 22:22:41

“Sea urchins churn and, in doing, give the signal: it’s gonna be a long night,” thus speaketh the lowly pipefish of the family Syngnathidae. This is a warning! Bladderwort-myth has been made real by cultural anxiety and a delay in Zoloft dosing: the Argus Panoptes has come to Hellas.

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Light plane crashes into concrete waves, kills and exposes

Ethan Switch - Wednesday, 16 June 2010 - 13:08:35

Decade rolling to a mark from the Children Overboard scandal and sea-faring travellers, water-borne refugees and other wave-laid migrants continue to face attack. And downed early ahead of a school bell in Sydney's South West, air travel adds another volley in the transport wars against the sea.

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Evil blared through the telephone today

Belvedere Jehosophat - Friday, 11 June 2010 - 23:48:44

Evil blared through the telephone today, and it didn’t have a lot to say: “a body has been found in the Wallraf-Richartz – third floor, the Early Rennaisance collection. Get there.”

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in 2050, when we know we'll all be dead anyway

Belvedere Jehosophat - Sunday, 16 May 2010 - 15:31:13

Nil desperandum.

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worldwide distribution of these

Belvedere Jehosophat - Wednesday, 5 May 2010 - 23:35:44

Worldwide is the distribution of bladderwort, the aquatic oubliette, and ingenious is the mechanism: the negative pressure set resets, and with the intake of water comes the intake of victims. It is quick work, one million billionth of a millisecond on a Sunday morning.

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if they surround the wagons, burn them to the ground

Belvedere Jehosophat - Monday, 12 April 2010 - 23:18:05

Co-ordination takes time – mostly because you have to provide yr own owl. Northern spotted owls are generally adequate, though a phrenologist is needed to ensure that that round owl-head is suitably round. Ear tufts are acceptable.

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