Music

Belvedere Jehosophat - Tuesday, 11 April 2006 - 16:14:24 - print it raw

Music is all but banned in the city. To say that the songs are sanitised would be an understatement. After all, there are three committees to which songs, by obligation, are submitted for approval before they can be performed in public or listened to in private. (Of course, it goes without saying that the elders would prefer that the citizens keep their private activity to the absolute minimum.)

These three committees — the Department of Sedition, the Department of Blasphemy and the Department of Awareness — each work independently to ensure that music doesn't create in the citizens the fanciful notions that plagued the city before the elders assumed control.

The Department of Sedition, quite obviously, is responsible for ensuring that no song broadcast or performed in public or made available to be performed in private carries the slightest hint of dissent or sedition.

The Department of Blasphemy not only monitors for material objectionable to God — or whatever it is the elders deem God might find offensive — it also monitors for other infractions such as offensive language, smut and any disrespect towards the elders.

Finally, the Department of Awareness, the last line of defence, guards against any and all emotional conflagrations and passionate outbursts. The idea here is to make available only those songs which will not overly excite the senses. The best songs are (according to the Department of Awareness, at least) the ones that help create a senescent, phlegmatic effect in the citizens.

The three committees, far from working in unison, are directed to excise from each song submitted for approval objectionable material that specifically pertains to their department. As a result, by the time the song reaches the last committee, generally the D of A, it has stopped making any real sense, and any narrative that may have existed is effectively lost. (A more cynical person would suggest that this is exactly what the elders had in mind, but that's neither here nor there...)

The music, once sanitised, is performed at massive public arenas. Anyone seen moving their hips suggestively or even betraying the slightest vigour in their movements is taken away by the city police to have their throats slit. Strangely, God never seems to find this offensive.

don't believe them, they will destroy you with their lies