Ethan Switch - Friday, 19 March 2004 - 05:14:40
Children pushed into 18 hour days hunched over tables working to put together the finest products in high margin profits and low quality wear will now probably see their American sourced work diverted no thanks to an newly farted Anti-Sweatshop Procurement Policy.
Read the rest of As Much As Can Be Sweated
Ethan Switch - Monday, 8 March 2004 - 09:22:32
Dismembered bodies festering heinous odours, spewing maggots and shooting blowflies from orifices. Caught in the washout of Saturday's rain weren't any people reported missing months ago. Dentures, glass eyes and gutted car chassis were on the list and with mounds of rubbish ever spawning so too were the volunteers searching less for rubbish than public and community penitence and shallow attempts to reverse year long litter drops.
Read the rest of Floating Along a Downstream
Ethan Switch - Friday, 20 February 2004 - 13:27:04
DNA Bioscience, a self-proclaimed "nation wide leader in providing DNA paternity and identity services," recently floated the UK's first DNA Reference Card. The issue of the credit-card sized cards has apparently been spurred on by demand from their clients.
Read the rest of DNA Cards for Players of the Crying Game
Belvedere Jehosophat - Saturday, 14 February 2004 - 20:09:19
Faced with constant discrimination, the fear of ignorance-fuelled attacks and the new Bush plan to protect that last vestige of morality, marriage, it is no wonder that some members of the gay community have decided to lash out in whatever small way that they can.
However, care must be taken that the battening down of the hatches and the ra-ra'ing of war chants doesn't alienate those who bear no ill-will in their hearts - that is, those merely searching for a place to sit and an eight-dollar latte to drink.
Read the rest of Abbott and Costello Meet The Wax Conspiracy
Ethan Switch - Monday, 26 January 2004 - 13:34:01
"We've just been around Redfern gunning down some of the Abos, clearing their nests and throwing them some cartons of VB to booze them up. It's the most authentic thing we could think of for this day," commented Harold Garett as he and a small group took pause to reflect as they watched another cardboard slum go up in flames.
Read the rest of Australia Day Acts in Traditional Settler Style
Ethan Switch - Tuesday, 23 December 2003 - 03:53:58
Half-naked, tattooed and moderately toasted, a man had his train ride ended in midstream. High on the second level of the third carriage of a train bound for an endless loop of the network, the passengers were treated to a full forced diatribe. Running the gamut of emotions it remains unclear how much if anything was decipherable or at the very least, coherent. The passengers flocked and gathered to listen in on what the man was shouting and slurring on.
Read the rest of Getting in Touch with the Passengers
Ethan Switch - Friday, 12 December 2003 - 08:07:27
"The live animal trade is a major export industry of considerable significance to rural and regional Australia," Mr Mark Vaile, Minister for Trade, said in a release. "The present value of the trade exceeds $1 billion per annum, of which about 40 per cent is derived from sales of live sheep."
Read the rest of Even Rabid Vegans Got to Shout
Ethan Switch - Monday, 8 December 2003 - 08:52:45
A man afflicted with a mullet in Sydney's south west is now the new owner—temporary or otherwise—of a 1980s model portable air conditioning unit. With brown hair, a flannelette shirt, faded jeans and natty sneakers, the unnamed man was seen making quite a fast turn down Elizabeth Street in Liverpool. Considering the fact that the box was rather large so as to create drag and covered the man's torso from hip to neck it seemed like quite a feat indeed.
Read the rest of Man With Mullet Runs Through Midday Crowd
Ethan Switch - Wednesday, 3 December 2003 - 09:51:29
Federal Minister for Citizenship and Multicultural Affairs, Gary Hardgrave, is urging the quietened Christians of the land to rise up and bring forth once again the days of putting Christ back into Christmas. "Many kindergartens, schools and businesses have decided they have to ban things because they might offend others. While well motivated, these people have it completely wrong.
Read the rest of Cramming Down One Meaning of December in a Multicultural Society
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