Halloween is the stuff of child's play and pi?ata are seasonal

Ethan Switch - Monday, 31 October 2005 - 08:03:46 - print it raw

Carlo Conforti, a man in his late forties, was found beating a donkey to death in the early morning of Halloween. Balding, and with a birthmark covering his left ear, Conforti was discovered mid-swing by a small group of children during their morning callisthenics.

It's believed that Conforti, divorced and with no children or carer, took the equine beast from the stables of the Catholic school grounds during the commotion of a protest rally over the persistence of The Devil and the Black Feast of the Churches.

Conforti, who lives no more than three kilometres from the school, was reported to be "thoroughly bringing his majesty upon the hide of the donkey," by a talking porcine.

Questioned as to why he would subject a beast of labour to such indescribable punishment, Conforti could only profess his love for His almighty and His beloved Son. Reverting to a foetal position he then covered his face in a mixture of fresh soil, bloody organs and excrement forced from the hide of the slain donkey.

The children, who had earlier been promised a demonstration of a Latin-American festivity, were denied by their Sister citing reasons of traumatic exposure.