Feline rectums, no place for firecrackers

Ethan Switch - Monday, 3 February 2003 - 19:12:13 - print it raw

After eleven long years waiting around in the background, The Goats are out and taking over Chinatowns across the globe. Though they came with the Lunar New Year none have been seen. Instead, anorexic and flamboyant Dragons are running around eating up lettuce heads dangling from roofs of certain retail and service shops.

Crowd turnout has been down in certain sections of the celebrations. One reason may be due to the fact that the red paper firecrackers are set off during the midnights prior. This leaves the dancing Dragons to down the dangling dodgers in silence, save for the haunting beat of the cymbals and drum.

An eerie feeling. An eerie sight.

The streets may be slightly cleaner but that could be only one reason for the turnaround of arsonic primer. Local and neighbouring children—and some of the older variety—have been known to scrounge in the litter of the aftermath for an uncracked cracker. They would then go about and do all sorts of mischief with their new charges.

Firecrackers inserted into the anus of a small animal are not out of their minds.

Neither is the practice of wrapping a firecracker in tissue/toiletpaper—to provide a slower burn in turn for the gunpowder in the wick—setting it alight and walking away.

Now walk away.