The Wax Conspiracy

Cherish the lobotomized; cranial collapse causes commercials

Ethan Switch - Thursday, 24 October 2002

Advertising in any form strikes to grab the attention of the most easily amused, shocked or just plain bored with their money. The world of the coke sniffing suits with an intravenous of caffeine exist due to this very fact of humanity.

A recent television commercial depicted a lab scene wherein a helmet is rammed repeatedly into the ground at full force. The advertisement does this for a few more shots and then enlightens the consumer of the fact that their helmets, Rosebank in this case, are tested for their safety and made to stringent guidelines. Helmets are good for one crash only. After that they should be replaced.

The Goodyear slogan "if it only saves you once a year, it's a Goodyear" uses the same logic to represent its product. While the marketplace may be full of numerous and forgettable tyres Goodyear pride themselves on the promise that their product is good for one use only.

The gurus behind the ad campaigns expect the consumer to buy something that is practically worthless and more importantly, dangerous. Quite possibly their target market are those who have bought second-hand helmets or bald tyres and as a result of a crash are now somewhat demented.

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