The Wax Conspiracy

A clean bill of health for sickness

The Ronald McDonald House is a supposed refuge, a "home away from home" for those of the younger set waiting for an operation or recuperating from such at a nearby hospital. The organisation is a charity and relies on events marketed as such to generate the funds needed to keep alive the focus.

The children are in no way bound by any agreements other than perhaps that of being happy. In a provision of misconception in a recent advertisement just as soon to be shelved, there is an underlying hint of what may come to pass for survivors of both the operating rooms and the big house.

The star of a recently aired commercial, Janelle Herring, a former leukaemia patient now with hair and a complexion, recalls her time spent in the Ronald McDonald House whilst images of her suiting up are screened. The final image rests with her serving up a tray of what could only be considered "fast food" from behind the counter of a rather oil and heat free McDonald's counter. As she pushes forth the tray of decorative wax moulds a caption below reminds us of the fact that she spent some time in the big clown's house.

From the superficial gloss and angles projected by said commercial, Herring was perhaps unable to cough up any necessary dues and must now work back the remaining of her healthy days in exchange for the less than spectacular constitution she walked in with.

Update - Herring sets record straight

On actual feedback(!) from Herring herself, we have been informed that this was not the case. That McDonald's do not make you work the grill to pay off the expenses, as they don't expect anything in return.

Sadly we don't have the email any more. This is where proper backup procedures come to the fore, people. If Herring can forward her copy again, that would be smashing tomatoes!

Ethan Switch

Written on Friday, 9 May 2003

The Wax Conspiracy



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